Popular Nigerian professional dancer, Kaffy Shafau, has spoken out about the difficulties she faces in getting into a relationship as a divorced and single mother.
Speaking on the Honest Bunch podcast, the 45-year-old choreographer said she has experienced rejection from men because she has two children.
Kaffy questioned why divorce is often seen as a disqualifier, arguing that a woman who has healed from a failed marriage could be a better partner.
She also criticised societal pressure to marry “fresh” partners, despite statistics showing that over “70 percent of marriages end in divorce”.
“I have had someone tell me because I am a single mother he cannot think about dating me because I have two children,” she said.
“What makes you think a woman that has been divorced is not even the better candidate if she has worked on herself? What is the guarantee that two single people today are not going to be divorced people tomorrow?
“Why are people feeling like, ‘I need to marry him fresh and I need to marry her fresh’ but both of you are going into the same data that over 70 percent of marriages crash. You are part of the 70 percent.
“Do you know that a lot of ‘butterflies in the tummy’ is a trauma response? Real love brings peace not butterflies. Real love is not supposed to make you anxious, I’m still healing from those anxious feelings. I know how responsible I am as a woman, I don’t sleep around. I don’t do casual sex.”
Kaffy was previously married to Joseph Ameh, a music producer and director.
In 2022, she confirmed the end of their union.