When Rasheed Bolarinwa (Head, Brand Management and Corporate Communications, Polaris Bank and President of the Association of Corporate & Marketing Communications Professionals in Banks in Nigeria, ACAMB) left home for library in preparedness for the Joint Admission and Matriculation Board (JAMB) exams on this fateful day in 1990, little did he know that his soul mate was waiting for him at a nearby shop where he had gone to make photocopies.
He went in company of three other people, but it was him who found love. Despite the seeming difficulty he initially encountered after his love interest left the shop before he could establish a contact and couple with the fact that there was no mobile phone or social media at the time, Bolarinwa was willing to scratch beyond the surface to look for his ideal woman whom he clicked with at first sight.
His dogged efforts paid off. They not only found each other but had a sweet friendship that lasted well over eight good years before they decided to take it to the next level in 1999. So far this great couple has been together for 35 years and married for 26 years! The union is blessed with two lovely children doing wonderfully well for themselves.
Read Bolarinwa’s inspiring love journey with his beautiful wife below in this tell-it-all interview with NewsClick Nigeria’s Lifestyle Editor, Esther Lanade:
- Can you take us back to how your love story started?
Met the woman (Olajumoke Rasheed BOLARINWA-Nee Oluseye) who has become my best friend, soul mate, backbone enabler, elixir, my home maker, the mother to my wonderful and BIG ‘Kids’, Izziyyah and Ridhwan while studying at a nearby library to write JAMB in 1990 at a business center close to where you’ve the Lagos NYSC Camp close to the renowned Government College, Agege. I was there to do some copies of reading material with 3 reading mates.
- What was the moment you knew “this is the one” ?
On sighting her the first time, just felt ‘cool’ and liked her person. Beautiful skin and seeing her smile with the Shop Manager. She had this beautiful dentition and dimples. I later asked the lady in the Store who the lady was after she left the place and she told me she’s a friend. I asked her name and she gave me. There was no mobile phone then so I ask when next is she likely to come visit again. She told me and I made it there before her arrival and told her I won’t mind being a friend. The rest they say is history. Of course she did not give me a ready answer on the spot but I persisted and possibly she saw something in this Jambites. We courted and even when I got into college after scaling JAMB we kept in touch as she’d visit me on campus from time to time; visited her at home and she did same to my late elder’s crib where I sheltered.
- How many years have you been together?
Since 1990 making a whopping 35 years of companion. We got married in 1999 after my service year and securing a job where I served. We both agreed to formalize our union having courted for 8 years.
- What has been your secret to keeping the spark alive all these years? Especially after the arrival of kids.
The genuine friendship and seeing each other than a wife and husband. Despite my busy schedule first as a Journalist working for arguably most demanding media house in Nigeria and later transited into Public Relations as a strategic communication specialist working across sectors in corporate Nigeria, I still found quality time to spend with my family. I’ve been there. As a rule I don’t sleep out except I’m out of Lagos on official assignment or out of the country on vacation or training.
- How do you both make each other feel special, even in small ways? What fun habits have stayed with you throughout your marriage?
People say I’m funny and joke a lot and fun to be with both at work and at home. And because we don’t speak English at home, you see me in my element conversing in pure undiluted Yoruba at home….many find my dialect what they refer to very ‘local’ Yoruba (whatever that means I don’t know). We watch TV together, my wife is a fan of all Africa magic (Yoruba & English) so we do watch together whenever I’m home before I switch to news and football channel. We watch African movies on Netflix and other popular streaming channels.
- How do you handle disagreements or tough moments now, compared to your early years?
When the head is getting hot, I chose to remain quiet and allow my wife to pour her mind….. after some hours I offer a perspective that counters what caused the disagreement which often times serves like a diffuser. And we talk things over. It can be tough but I learnt early in my growing up years from my maternal and paternal grandmothers and my elder sisters and know how to navigate combustible scenarios in my home when they arise. Thank God for emotional intelligence and how well I was raised on the street of Osogbo.
- What’s one thing your partner still does that melts your heart?
The way she’s learnt the art of massaging my ego. She knows how to get things out of me….which I do willingly most times even when I know in some instances, she is more or less ‘whining me’…. but I take my eyes off it and just smile it away – I see such as a reward for her unmatched dedication, service and abiding loyalty to our union. She deserves everything I do for her and I’ve never failed to make her happy because we built this ‘edifice together’.
- What was one of the biggest challenges you faced together, and how did you overcome it?
Raising our children single-handedly without any domestic help. I cannot thank my wife enough for pausing her personal growth to raise our kids. I remain eternally grateful for her sacrifice over the years and pray Allah to grant her long life and good health to enjoy the fruits of her labour.
- What advice would you give to younger couples hoping for a lasting marriage?
See yourself as best of friends, great tolerance (recognizing that you’re from two different homes and raised differently), communicate more, take yourself out more – go see movies, concerts….party when the occasion demands it. Enjoy life to the fullest, eat well….and take lots of fruits and drinks lots of water. And above all pray in whatever form or shape you know for God’s protection.
- If you could sum up your marriage in one word or sentence, what would it be?
It has been a rewarding and blissful marital journey to the glory of Allah!