Author: Khadijat Adelani

The Nigerian actress Dupe Jayesimi has talked candidly about her difficulties with childlessness and broken marriages.

Jayesimi, who was married on October 22, 1988, disclosed in a recent interview on the Talk2B podcast that she was pregnant at the time of her wedding but lost the baby a few weeks later.

The actress, who turned 60 in July 2023, claimed that her inability to conceive despite multiple medical tests and procedures caused stress on her marriage.

The movie star revealed that her ex-husband’s absence during crucial times made their infertility journey much more difficult, which finally caused their marriage to fail.

Jayesimi said her ex-husband moved in with another pregnant woman just two weeks after their separation, leaving her depressed and turning to alcohol for solace.

“I got married on October 22, 1988. I had been practicing theatre, and the person I married knew about it at the time and was not upset. However, his job required him to be available for two weeks and then unavailable for the next two weeks,” she said.

“In our marriage, we did not have a child, although I entered the marriage pregnant. I lost the pregnancy weeks into the wedding. Since then, we have done a lot of tests. At one point, I was told they would perform a procedure where they would open me up, and if my husband had intercourse with me, I would become pregnant. We went ahead with the procedure, but my husband did not show up until three months later.

“When he returned, I became angry. He asked why I was angry and said I should have moved out if I was tired of the marriage. By then, we were already five years into the marriage. There were rumors that my life was in danger, so I had to leave.

“Two weeks after I left the marriage, he brought in another woman who was pregnant. The situation left me so depressed that I started drinking alcohol at the time.”

Jayesimi said she had given up on marriage until she met a man, whom she described as a father figure.

She said although they attempted IVF twice, both procedures were unsuccessful. She also shared her experience with an ectopic pregnancy at 40, which required medical intervention.

Jayesimi said she considered adoption but faced opposition from her mother.

“I had initially decided that I would not get married again until I met an Alhaji who was like a father to me. I wished I had met him before my failed marriage. We tried IVF twice, but it did not work,” she said.

“When I was about 40, I got pregnant but did not know it at the time. I used to feel pain in my abdomen and went to the hospital for tests and scans. I was told I was pregnant, but it was an ectopic pregnancy. After the procedure, I have not been able to get pregnant since.

“I left the marriage with the Alhaji when his first wife started having issues with him. I considered adoption, but my mother said she would kill any child I adopted. I left Alhaji about 15 years ago.

“Since then, I have not had a child. I am not someone who broods over issues, and I would never consider suicide. I know God’s time will come for me.

Jayesimi said she remains hopeful and resilient, expressing gratitude for her career and the children she has raised.

“When I think about the things I have done—the children I have raised, hoping they would take care of me, but they did not—I am grateful that God blessed me with this job. So, I do not dwell on these things, and I will not,” she added.

“The only thing I want now is to have a child I can take everywhere, one that people will associate with my name. If I had been away from my parents for long, I would have adopted a child.”