[Couple Spotlight] ‘When a man shows interest beyond you, you pay attention,’ how the Okafors balance tradition with love and everything in between

Theirs is a friendship rooted deeply in mutual respect, love and tradition. Having met a cousin’s traditional wedding in Owerri, the Imo state capital some 16 years ago, Mr and Mrs Okafor will stop at nothing to ensure their union stands solid. 

Now in their 12th year as husband and wife, the Okafors’ love journey further proves that tradition still holds a strong place in our matrimonial affairs today.

Follow me on this sweet adventure of culture, friendship and mutual respect for love and family…

1. Can you take us back to how your love story started?

Mr Okafor: We met at my cousin’s traditional wedding in Owerri. She was part of the bride’s friends, very quiet but observant. I noticed she wasn’t loud like others; she carried herself with confidence. I found a reason to join their table and we started talking about work, family, and village life. That evening, I knew I wanted to see her again.

Mrs Okafor: He was persistent but respectful. After the wedding, he kept calling to check on me, sometimes even asking about my parents. That seriousness stood out. In Igbo culture, when a man shows interest beyond just you, you pay attention. Our conversations became deeper, and friendship laid the foundation.

 

2. What was the moment you knew “this is the one”?

Mr Okafor: When she travelled to my village for the first time and embraced everyone warmly — from my mother to the youngest cousin. She didn’t act superior. She blended in naturally. That day, I said to myself, “Nke a bu nwunye m” (this is my wife).

Mrs Okafor: During a difficult period when my business collapsed, he never made me feel small. Instead, he would say, “We will rebuild.” That “we” told me I wasn’t alone.

 

3. How many years have you been together?

Mr Okafor: We’ve known each other for 16 years.

Mrs Okafor: we’ve been married for 12 solid years.

 

4. What has been your secret to keeping the spark alive all these years, especially after the arrival of kids?

Mr Okafor: Respect. In Igbo homes, respect sustains love. Even when we disagree, we don’t insult each other. That keeps the bond intact.

Mrs Okafor: We also protect our private time. Sometimes after the children sleep, we sit outside with palm wine or malt and just talk. We laugh about old memories and future plans.

 

5.How do you both make each other feel special, even in small ways? What fun habits have stayed with you throughout your marriage?

Mr Okafor: I still compliment her wrappers and head ties when she dresses traditionally. I let her know she is beautiful.

Mrs Okafor: I still serve his food personally when he’s home early. It’s something my mother taught me — care keeps love alive. We also have a habit of dancing together whenever we hear highlife music in the house.

 

6. How do you handle disagreements or tough moments now, compared to your early years?

Mr Okafor: In the early years, pride used to enter. Now, we value peace more than ego.

Mrs Okafor: We talk things through calmly. If emotions rise, we pause and return later. Experience has taught us that anger passes, but words remain.

 

7. What’s one thing your partner still does that melts your heart?

Mr Okafor:  The way she greets me when I return from a trip — that warm smile and genuine happiness.

Mrs Okafor: When he introduces me proudly as “my wife” in public, with respect and honor. It melts my heart every time.

 

8. What was one of the biggest challenges you faced together, and how did you overcome it?

Mr Okafor: Family expectations early in our marriage. Balancing extended family responsibilities and our own home was not easy.

Mrs Okafor: We handled it with unity. We discussed everything privately and presented one decision outside. That unity protected our marriage.

 

9. What advice would you give to younger couples hoping for a lasting marriage?

Mr Okafor: Marriage is not competition. It is partnership.

Mrs Okafor: Build friendship first. Love will grow, but friendship sustains.

 

10. If you could sum up your marriage in one word or sentence, what would it be?

Mr Okafor: Rooted.

Mrs Okafor: A covenant of friendship and respect.