How to parent as team when your styles differ
Parenting is hard enough on its own—but when you and your partner have different styles, it can feel even more challenging.
One parent might be strict, while the other is more laid-back. One might believe in schedules; the other goes with the flow. The truth is, parenting styles don’t have to match perfectly—but they do need to work together.
Here’s how to parent as a team, even when your approaches are different.
1. Talk About Your Parenting Values:
Start with open, honest conversations about what matters most to each of you. What kind of values do you want to teach your kids? What kind of home do you both want to create? Understanding each other’s core beliefs helps build common ground.
2. Respect Each Other’s Differences:
It’s normal to disagree sometimes, but try not to undermine or criticize your partner’s approach—especially in front of the kids. Respect shows unity, even if your styles aren’t the same. When children see both parents backing each other, they feel more secure.
3. Choose Your Battles:
Not every difference needs to be fixed. Focus on the bigger picture—like discipline, screen time, or bedtime routines and let the smaller differences slide. You don’t have to parent the exact same way in every moment to be effective together.
4. Create Shared Rules:
Agree on a few key rules and consequences that both of you can stick to. This helps create consistency for your kids, even if your styles vary. When children know what to expect, they’re more likely to behave and feel safe.
5. Back Each Other Up:
Support your partner in front of the kids, even if you disagree. If needed, discuss the issue privately later. This shows your children that you’re a united team and helps avoid confusion or manipulation.
6. Learn from Each Other:
Different parenting styles can be a strength. One of you may be great at discipline, the other better at emotional support. Instead of clashing, try learning from each other and balancing your strengths.
CONCLUSION:
Parenting as a team doesn’t mean being exactly alike. It means working together with respect, patience, and shared purpose. When you focus on what unites you—love for your child—you’ll find ways to support each other and grow stronger as parents and partners.
