[LOVERS’ CORNER] Nine spicy things men often enjoy in bed but rarely communicate

Most men are terrible at asking for what they want in bed.

I know we like to think they’re these confident, sexually assertive beings who take charge and get what they need.

But the truth is, many men are walking around with secret desires they’re too embarrassed, too proud, or too scared to voice.

They’d rather go without than risk sounding weird and selfish.

And we women are often clueless about what they’re craving because we assume they’re getting everything they want since they seem to enjoy themselves.

Here are nine “spicy” things many men enjoy in the bedroom but might be hesitant to ask for, often due to fear of judgment, appearing demanding, or concerns about their partner’s comfort level:

• You take the lead Men appreciate it when their partner takes control and initiates sex, as it shows enthusiasm and desire. This subverts traditional roles and can be a major turn-on for him.

• Dirty talk Explicit and arousing language is a big turn-on, but some men are shy about asking for it. Knowing their partner is turned on by the experience and hearing specific phrases can significantly enhance their arousal.
• Role-playing Exploring different personas, such as a boss/employee or stranger scenario, introduces novelty and excitement. Men may fantasize about specific scenarios but won’t suggest them for fear of their partner thinking it’s weird.
• A little roughness Not all sex needs to be romantic and gentle. Many men enjoy things getting a little rough, such as light spanking, hair pulling, or playful biting, as long as clear boundaries and consent are established.
• Trying anal sex This is a common fantasy for many men, but they often avoid asking because they worry their partner will think it’s “dirty” or automatically refuse.
• Wearing sexy lingerie While he might not explicitly ask you to buy specific items, men are visual creatures and appreciate the effort their partner puts into looking sexy, which boosts the excitement and visual appeal of the encounter.
• Praise and compliments Men have insecurities too, and receiving genuine compliments about their body or their performance in bed can be a massive ego boost and turn-on.
• Incorporating sex toys Many men are curious about using toys in the bedroom, for either partner’s pleasure, but may not want to be the one to suggest it. Introducing a new toy can add variety and excitement.
• Sex in a new location Breaking the routine and having sex somewhere risky or in an unusual location (e.g., the kitchen, the garden, an elevator) can provide a thrilling adrenaline rush that enhances arousal.