In today’s world of trust displacement, where relationships pack up at the slightest turn, lovers seem not to be willing to take the risk anymore and are smartly devising means to test their partners’ loyalty by putting them to a certain test without their consent.
NewsClick Nigeria’s Oluwaseyi Lawal again hits the streets to ask if people can go this extra length to validate their partners’ loyalty status to them.
Read their responses below;
OMA IWERE, 26
I can’t because I feel putting my partner to a loyalty test; meaning to check if my partner is faithful or loves me, is like a manipulative act.
Peradventure I find out my partner is loyal, and then he finds out what I did, it might break my marriage or my relationship. And then my partner might distrust me and it might lead to many ups and downs in the relationship. And also if I find out my partner is cheating, it might cause a mental breakdown for me. I’ll keep imagining scenarios of my partner cheating and he will not be able to live up to my expectations anymore. I’ll be thinking, getting worried and might not be comfortable in the relationship anymore and I might want to just end it. I might even be having a mental breakdown. So, I think it’s not reasonable to put your partner to a test.
ODUNTAN OLUWAFUNKE, 24
No. Okay, I believe that for every relationship, trust is very important. So, if I really trust him, we love each other and then we trust each other, there is really no point trying to put him on a loyalty test. The trust is there, the love is there, the commitment is there. So, I’ll just love him for who he is and trust him for who he is not trying to put him on a loyalty test. I can’t do that.
ALI BLESSED, 29
Yes, of course. Although it’s a tough question, but I think it’s something that every relationship has to do. To me, a loyalty that hasn’t been tested, is not a loyalty that you can bank on. So for you to be able to bank on your partner, for you to be able to put your whole mind on the person, definitely, you should bring out the other part of them by testing them. So to me, I feel it’s necessary, I feel I should do it because ladies nowadays can’t be trusted. They’re materialistic, egoistic, and in fact, they can pretend a lot. So you just need to bring out that perfect test to see their true nature.
OKE OREOLUWA, 25
No I won’t and the reason is actually very simple. It’s because I know the kind of person that he is. I wouldn’t put him to a loyalty test because I just know that it’s going to communicate distrust to him. It will be like after everything he’s doing to make the relationship work, I go ahead to test his loyalty. So because I know the kind of person he is and I believe putting him to loyalty test already communicates distrust. Except you already know the type of person your partner is that he is just vibes and he does not take you seriously. But my own is soft-hearted. Let me not break his heart by putting him to a loyalty test, so No!
JEMIMAH HUSSAINI, 24
I can’t and I won’t. First of all, I don’t have the strength to go through all of that. That’s one. Secondly, me being that kind of person, that means I am insecure and I’m projecting that thing on the other person who is not. I cannot do that. Okay, let’s say for instance now, it now happens and then the person comes back and then he does not fall for it. Then you now come back and say “Oh now I trust you”. That moment, you might look stupid. If you don’t trust the person, I don’t think you should even go to the relationship in the first place. Just leave it. You cause yourself unnecessary sleepless nights and think of whatever it is that you’re not supposed to be thinking. If you don’t trust the person, don’t go into it because you’re wasting time and energy.
AKEEM MUSA, 30
For me, testing your partner’s loyalty is not entirely a bad thing. You are going that extra length because of the love you have for her/him. If he/she is someone you don’t care about, you won’t even bother if they are promiscuous or unfaithful. I can do it for a lady I hope to settle down with, albeit, I won’t go to the extreme. Just a moderate test is enough proof that she truly loves and cares for me as much as I do for her.
BABALOLA ELIZABETH, 27
I believe it’s not right to put my partner to a loyalty test. Of course, you would want to prove that you’re confident about your partner. But to intentionally go out of my way, to put my partner to test, I feel it’s not something a loving person should do. I am putting my partner in a difficult situation. If you’re in a relationship, trust should be something you should have. So you, if you’re having any doubts about your partner, that means you are already having second thoughts about your partner. So you should have just not been in that relationship in the first place. So if you have to contemplate your partner’s loyalty, then you shouldn’t be in that relationship.
OTEMU JOSHUA, 27
No, I won’t do that. Because, you putting your partner to a loyalty test means, first of all you don’t trust yourself. If you trust yourself, you are going to have an easier time trusting somebody. Love believes all things, love hopes all things and perfect love casts out fear. So, if you tempt a person, it means that you genuinely don’t love the person. So love, in that context, means me not putting a person to test to prove love. If you love the person enough, you should be able to see through the person. That’s why I believe that is absurd.
WAHEED MUHAMMED, 28
It’s not even an ideal that you should allow to settle in your head so as not to consider the thought of carrying it out. People are most times callous and selfish. They carelessly throw at others what they cannot take. Why get to that wicked extent just for validation of something that might not even still work despite the test? I can’t do it and I think the partners of those doing it should be encouraged to press legal charges against them.
MISHAEL JOHN, 27
Personally, I’ll say no. This is because before I agree to actually go into a relationship with my partner, there should be a level of trust, there should be something that I have seen in her, which I’ll say is valuable. So in the relationship, I should be able to know her based on the value. If I have to put her to a loyalty test, it’s already a sign of irresponsibility I’ll say. I should understand that relationships are based on trust and value. And if at all there is an issue, I should be able to call her and talk to her. Communication is very important in a relationship and if in that process, you still don’t notice a change, if you can’t hold on, you just call it quits. I think it’s really not responsible for guys to actually consider loyalty tests in their relationships.
YAYA TOLULOPE, 26
I cannot because any woman that is supposed to be my wife, I’ll trust her. There’s no need for that because one thing that is very important in every relationship is trust. When there is no trust, every other thing will have its way into your relationship. As for me, if I am in a relationship with someone, trust must be established. There’s no need for me to enter into such a thing for me to check if my partner is cheating or not.
FEMI SAMUEL, 25
Okay, I can’t do it because if this person is faithful, it’s possible that the person might fall. I mean we’re all humans right? Me exposing her to that loyalty test as it were, even if she was not supposed to do that, or even if she wasn’t going to do that in the first place, the fact that I’m exposing her to such, she can fall because I tempted her. Then I am at fault. The Bible says “every man is drawn away from his own lust.” So, as for me o, I cannot. There’s also a verse in the Bible that says “Do not arouse or awaken my love until I am ready”. So even though she is not in for such and you arouse it, and you stir it up, chances are very high that she will fall for it.
BALKEEZ KEHINDE, 33
As long as the test is not intentionally designed to make him fail, I’ll do it. If I love, I love totally and I can’t allow anyone take my love for granted. I need to be sure of the person I am in love with. Even if I still get served breakfast after the test, I’ll take it diligently with the thought that I have tried and that the relationship is probably not meant to be in the first place.
