Former military president Ibrahim Badamasi Babangida has shared intimate details about his marriage to his late wife, Maryam, in his newly released autobiography, A Journey in Service.
The book, which was launched on Thursday alongside a fundraiser for his presidential library, provides insights into their love story, Maryam’s conversion to Islam, and their enduring bond as husband and wife.
A Love That Stood the Test of Time
Babangida recounted his first meeting with Maryam, formerly known as Maria Okogwu, during their younger years while he was living in the unmarried officers’ quarters on Kanta Road, Kaduna.
He described being immediately captivated by her beauty, calling her “stunning” and praising her enchanting smile.
Despite his military training abroad in India and the UK, their bond remained strong. He frequently visited her at the home of his close friend and cousin, Garba Duba. Their love blossomed, and at the age of 28, after surviving a near-death experience in battle, Babangida decided to settle down.
While recovering from a severe chest injury at Lagos University Teaching Hospital, he reflected on his relationships and realised Maryam was the woman he wanted to marry.
“I had settled on Maria as the woman I would wed before being discharged from the hospital. As soon as I was discharged, I made my way to Kaduna, where she lived with her mother and uncle. I was anxious to share the good news with her: I had decided we were destined for a life together. I admired her greatly for her reserved nature and the fact that she was well brought up,” Babangida wrote.
Winning Maryam’s Heart
However, convincing Maryam to marry him was not an easy task. According to Babangida, she was initially sceptical of his seriousness.
“She knew that I had a track record of being something of a man about town, and those were not the qualities she wanted in a husband. She was unconvinced of my capacity to be serious, and many people said as much to her,” he admitted.
Despite this, Babangida was determined not to take no for an answer. His persistence eventually paid off, and Maryam agreed to marry him.
Conversion to Islam and a Strong Marriage
Babangida also revealed that faith played a central role in their relationship, and he required Maryam to convert to Islam before they got married.
“I shared with her the fact that my faith was an integral and essential part of my life and that I would require her to convert to Islam,” he wrote.
Fortunately, this was not a difficult decision for Maryam, as she had both Christian and Muslim influences in her family.
“Praise be to Allah; this was not a difficult decision for Maria. Being part Christian and part Muslim at birth and already living in a Muslim household, it was never going to be wholly uncharted territory for her. She adapted with relative ease to married life as a Muslim,” he explained.
Babangida also assured her that he would not take multiple wives, a promise he believed contributed significantly to the strength of their marriage.
A Lasting Legacy
The couple got married on September 6, 1969, and were blessed with four children—Aisha, Muhammad, Aminu, and Halima.
Maryam, who later became Nigeria’s First Lady from 1985 to 1993, was known for her humanitarian work and was instrumental in launching the Better Life for Rural Women programme, which empowered women across Nigeria.
Sadly, she passed away on December 27, 2009, at the age of 61 after battling ovarian cancer in Los Angeles.
Babangida admitted that coping with her loss had been incredibly difficult but said that memories of their life together had provided him with solace.
Their love story, as captured in A Journey in Service, offers a rare glimpse into the personal life of one of Nigeria’s most prominent leaders, shedding light on the woman who stood by his side through triumphs and challenges.